You’re just jealous because your tributaries are 34% millet and your peasants are weakened by scurvy. You are jealous of the fertile river delta I control with several magnificent forts.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Your horse archers could never hope to best mine. Your bronze is of inferior quality.
Mad because my river delta means my cities can only be besieged by naval forces you don’t have.
Jumping up and down furiously and demanding that my court poets draft declamatory verses comparing you to a mandrill.
I am unaffected by your epic poetry because of my bountiful grain tributaries
I do love the phrase executive dysfunction bc the image it conjures is of a bunch of people wearing business suits around a long oval conference table arguing with each other to the point where they’re getting into physical fights, but in the background there’s just a big empty whiteboard with a To Do list with one item on it and that item is “take shower”
“your rent should be a third of your income” well wouldn’t that be nice. wouldn’t it. lower the rent pussy
Casual observation from someone old enough to remember: in the year 2000 financial advice was that rent should be no more than ÂĽ of your income.
Until the mid 80s, the advice was that if you must rent instead of owning, then that 20% of your monthly income (oh yes, only 20%) should include all your utilities too.
After all, rent costs more than a mortgage, so it should offer more too.
literary analysis being posited as this boring grueling penance that only miserable people insist on is very dumb as an idea but its even more dumb to me, the guy who gets so excited about it that he has to clap and pound his fists against the ground and walk in circles at a dizzying speed unbeknownst to man
SON: May I speak? MOTHER: You may not. SON: But I have just cause to do so. MOTHER: But you do not have the right. SON: I can tell you have vex coursing through your veins at this point in time, mother, but I want you to know that what I did was a lesson that needed to be taught. MOTHER: And pray tell, you forlorn fledgling, what lesson is learnt by breaking your brother’s tablet? SON: That the world is cruel, harsh, savage - MOTHER: Those adjectives are best suited for you, brood of mine. SON: Speak louder, mother, my ears are burning. MOTHER: Oh, continue your teachings, boy, I’m finding them most enthralling. SON: As I was saying before I was so abruptly heckled, the world is meant for teachings of desolation. Whether the lesson be taught by the almighty hand of fate, some supreme being, or by someone who didn’t want their essence taken by a camera. MOTHER: Ha! SON: The seminar that I indoctrinated was an important one, mother. MOTHER: Are you talking about ‘this’ picture? SON: How on earth did you get that? MOTHER: The cloud that me and your brother share knows all. It was saved onto our family Billo before you terminated the tablet… Oh, no, boy, this shall remain with this family forever as a constant reminder of your wrongdoings unto your brother. SON: I performed wrongdoings unto him?! … Inverse that statement, mother, then you have the truth in front of you! MOTHER: He wronged you? SON: HE LAUGHED AT MY DISTORTED IMAGE. MOTHER: Me and your father laughed heartily at it too, boy. SON: Father knows?! MOTHER: Father knows, yes … and he has already started the shipment of Christmas cards. SON: AHH! You’re showing the masses? MOTHER: Be grateful that I did not show them the annihilated tablet. Let that fall on the noble men and women who are trying to right the wrongs that you performed unto the tablet, your brother, and your kinsfolk. SON: If they restore it, I shall lay it to waste once again. MOTHER: Then the image shall be sent for birthdays. SON: AND AGAIN! MOTHER: THE JUBILEE! SON: AAND AGAIN!! MOTHER: AT THE RRRAPTURE! SON: There won’t be laughing amongst the assemblage, mother! MOTHER: Oh? SON: There will be charges brought amongst you for mistreating a minor! MOTHER: There shall be laughing, boy, and perhaps I should start now, don’t you agree? Ah-ha, yes, very good! SON: Discontinue! MOTHER: Yes, yes, very amusing, yes! SON: CONCLUDE THIS! MOTHER: Ha Ha! The mirth I am experiencing is considerable in size. SON: CEEEAAAASSSE!!!
SON: Stop laughing! MOTHER: Sorry, you are very bad for breaking you brother’s iPad. SON: But he made me look stupid. MOTHER: It does look a bit funny though. SON: MUUMM!
wizards for life đź‘Š
